G.I. Part Three!

Poor Masie had to get her blood drawn due to her throwing up the last few days. It was horrible. I held her while the lab tech. searched with her needle. I felt irrationally upset. I calmly talked and sang to Masie while inside I was ready to cry myself. I wanted to take the needle out and run! So crazy, these mommy instincts to protect, and also the strong empathy, the desire to fix everything. Anyway, hopefully, tomorrow brings her a day where her food stays where it is supposed to.

I feel fine today and have even dropped a pant size! I am trying to look at the positive side after all. Kat is better, I just talked to her, and Garland and Heath never got it! Crazy! Good immune systems, I guess.

I need to get to sleep early; my girl is making up her lost calories with night time feedings. I would rather sleep all night, but I don't mind really. Her warm, little body is sweet to cuddle with in the middle of the night.

Sometimes at night
in the tangled web of darkness
I imagine pouring rain and an open screened porch
facing a muddy driveway
and thick green branches bending down
heavy with the rain
I imagine the porch has hanging potted plants
and the air smells like summer dirt
and the floppy hat on the swing on that porch
is my own
and so is the quiet lull of the pouring rain

Heath's offspring! :) 

Masie stuck her tongue out a lot that day. 

Grahams with the Rodo boys, James and John Paul 

Garland, Chris, Kat, and us 

Godparents... Shannon Altman and the Rodos! 

Baptism pictures! 

Gastrointestinal Hell, Part II

Right when we thought we were in the clear.....

Picture this: Heath, Masie, and I sitting on the couch. Masie sitting comfortably in her daddy's lap. I reach for Masie and say, "Honey, you're not going to throw up again are you?" Masie promptly releases her dinner all over the couch and me. Heath grabs the baby and heads for the sink. I follow in close pursuit, trying to catch drips that splatter as he runs. Masie finishs in sink. I cancel Mom's Night Out, clean soiled couch, and Heath watchs the baby while I take a short, albeit needed bath and dream of my resignation letter. (I don't REALLY want to resign, but I do want to stop cleaning up vomit!)

More later...Maybe

Back From Gastrointestinal Hell

Masie had what Frank calls the "upsie gutsies" for a couple of days. Heath and I carried her throughout the house where she dutifully threw up, christening each room in its proper turn. We stripped sheets numerous times and took turns holding her. Poor thing! She was so miserable. Finally, she started to feel better, and I was only vaguely aware of the burning pain growing in my own belly.

To make a long, gruesome story short and benign: I got an even more virulent form of the bug and felt like I was going to die. But, like with most things in life, it got better. Today, I feel so much better. I think Heath may be on his way, though, and Kat is at home sick with the same thing. Anyone care to come and visit???!!!!

Not much energy, so I will go... Stay well!

Good morning! 

Do I look like a girl who threw up all night??? 

Reading to Elmo.... 

What the heck is that on the ceiling??!! 

But, hey, I'll still smile to show I am a good sport! 

feeling a little blue today 

8 months old today! Good Morning !!!!! :) 

Friday Night

So, it is Friday night. Shannon (one of my closest friends) and I walked up to eat at a local seafood place. Masie was in tow also and behaved generally well for about hour. After that, she squirmed with such ferocity that she nearly leaped from my arms. She is in that grabby phase where anything within her reach will be grabbed, explored, and then tossed to the floor. So, my end of the conversation becomes fairly scarce and choppy. It is not unusual for me to completely blank out and ask, "What did you say?" You see, it is everything I can do to keep Masie from propelling out of my arms. Anyway, we did get dinner, some nice conversation, and a chance to get out in this weather is always nice.

Tonight, I will read and maybe even watch my TIVOed Bachelor. I know, I know, Reality T.V. is tacky, isn't it? But it is mindless and provides a nice escape.. I want to say that I curl into bed with a tome brimming full of intellectual comparisons of philosophy or such, but that would be a lie. I am tired at the end of the day. :)

I am thinking of looking into starting a PhD. Even if I took one course at a time, that would be good for me, I think.

I hope all of you have a nice night. Maybe leave me a short comment wherever you are and let me know you were here. If not, that's okay, too.

Marie

Our park.. Right across the street from our house.  

Lunch! A little actually made it into my mouth. 

Singing on the swing! 

Louis resting. Ahhh..  

Little Heath! Right? 

Wheeeeee!!!!! Higher! Higher!!! 

Like my hat??? 

Masie swinging! Her favorite park activity. 

All three of us going to the park. Thanks for takingthe pics, Nancy! 

Mom and Masie going to the park. 

Masie eating some yummy pizza crust! 

Wacky Wednesday

I don't have much to say, so I will keep this short. Today was bad for several reasons, but I did hang out at playgroup with some great people and spend some quality time with Masie at the park.

Note: if you do not have kids and have not visited the park recently..then you should do so. It is so much fun to swing, slide, and lay down in the grass under trees. Isn't that crazy? Why did I stop swinging after elementary school??? It is like as adults we slowly remove ourselves from our environment. Always walking on concrete between air conditoned buildings.... We forget what grass feels like under our feet or how scratchy tree bark is. And so...despite days that seem like they go on forever...and laundry...and cooking..and diapers. I am reminded again and again of the beauty of simplicity.

The Nursery Scream and Edges

Soooo, yesterday, I dropped Masie out to her Kid's Day Out program and instead of her normal apathy upon leaving her, she wailed like I was dropping her off to the baby eating monster. She screamed, looked at me with wild eyes, and tried to jump out of Miss Angela's arms. I was horrified. Another mother came to my rescue and said, "How you react to this is very important. Quickly grab your stuff and leave." I listened to her but cried on the drive home. Intellectually, I knew I needed some time to myself, but emotionally, irrationally, I felt like I was abandoning my sweet daughter. I hated that I couldn't explain things to her.... She ended up doing fine.

Garland and I went for a walk yesterday, and poor Kat came driving up in our Jetta, explaining that the key refused to budge out of the ignition. Sure enough, it was stuck. (and still is) So funny. She said, "I just keep driving around because I don't know what to do!" :)

Over dinner the other night, Heath and I started talking about a friend of his and his need for a girl with an "edge." Heath went on to tell me that I had lost mine, whereupon I harped on about the fact that I had not. So, what is an edge anyway? A certain wildness? Drinking cocktails with abandon, dancing on tables, wearing all black, peppering your language with unsuspecting obscenities, crazy sex in cars?

Perhaps an edge has more to do with being different than people expect? I consider Heath to have an edge because in many ways, he is completely different than he appears to most. Most people would assume him to be conservative, when in fact, he rocks out to Tool and is in support of gay marriage. He is comfortable most settings, a refined wine bar, the industrial scene...

My edge is more what I think than what I do, especially now that I am a mother of a small child. I want to have fun but that desire is often overridden by my concern for Masie and her well being. I think of her first, and assume, rightly so, that I am the person that must be the responsible one. Men can let go and not worry. Mothers mostly do not. We worry more. My edge is my artistic side however neglected. It is my insane desire to spill words on paper and paint onto canvas. It is my nack of feeling comfortable saying shocking things in calm settings and watching the words stir around the air and make everyone talk, or at least think about what they would say.

The bottom line is this: I do not drink until I slur any more, I do not have late nights at bars, or completely let go. It is not the time in my life to do this. I am at a different place. My edge is different now. It has to be.

I hope this finds everyone well and happy.....

Heath eating Masie's toes. YUMMM!!!!