Friday night

Okay... it is Friday night at 10:00. and here I am at the computer again. I feel like I might be a loser. (a little pity party is fair, right?) Masie is asleep, Heath is at an office party, and I am sitting here feeling alone and decidedly unexciting. Today was dull, and towards the end of it, I felt like I would lose my mind. I felt wrung out, like an overused dishtowel. How is that for a simile?? I need to recharge, and soon. As an adult, I realize that all of this low energy and blahness will soon fade away into a new, bright day full of possibilities, but for now, well, the 24 period that I am in now, seems endless.

Masie and I went grocery shopping, zoomed around in the cart. I sing to her and point out everything. I caught a man staring strangely at me as I handed Masie a lemon. "Look at the lemon, honey. see? It is yellow!" Masie looks at the lemon, considers it, and her eyes return to me with a serious stare. Sometimes, as I reach for something, I look back at that cart with that sweet little person watching me, and think, "My God, I am her mother. ." the strength of the moment, the significance of it, grips me just for that second and I am left in awe..before swinging down the next aisle singing, "Shoo fly, don't bother me!"

My writing class that I was going to start this week on memoir was cancelled for lack of numbers. This sent me into the funk. I have looked forward to this for a couple of months. A time to write, to reconnect with that neglected side of me. So, today, I took out a canvas, some paints, and Masie; sprayed us both down with bug spray, and proceeded to paint; and I think, irrepairably stain the concrete. Heath is going to love that. He may not notice (unless he reads this.)

Anyway... I think I will head off to bed and read a little while. Curling into clean sheets with a good book is one of the greatest (albeit simplest) pleasures of life.

Marie